Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
