i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
