If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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