Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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