She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
