Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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