I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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