Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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