i don't like sucking hair
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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