Already got asked if we're dating
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
