well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
