the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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