There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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