you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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