i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
