what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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