It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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