We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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