she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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