He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
