goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
