Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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