Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
