wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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