plz talk dirty to me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
