I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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