Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
