You're a womanizer and a bitch.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
