Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
