im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
