It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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