Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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