I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm like, not good at living.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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