Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
