fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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