I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
