I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
