living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
