So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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