He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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