We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
