On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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