im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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