I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm jealous of your bromance
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
