Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
