They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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