just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
