Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize