Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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