your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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