YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
