So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
