this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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