I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
