I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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