So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
