Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
