addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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