Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Panties = found
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
