why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This baby is an asshole
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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