Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
