oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
