is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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